Enslaved Spirituality-- need advice about males.

[SidheDraoi]

Tonight is the night of the new moon, so naturally my mind feels like it is missing something. My moods follow the moon phases very closely, every month it is the same pattern with me and new moons bring upon a restlessness in me and even a potiential to be violent if someone does me wrong during this time of the cycle.

I am highly spiritual person and I have been neglecting that for some time now. My significant other isnt a spiritual sympathizer and if I ever ask him to join me in a spiritual festival or rite he declines and begins a spiel about how he thinks that kind of thing has no place in the world today. calls it "voodoo" as in a derrogatory way, which I find offensive because I myself practices a form of shamanistic "voodoo".

lately my heart has been aching to return to nature, to feel the dirt between my toes and breathe in its rich scent... yet it seems near impossible for me to do this to the extent that I used to and i feel like my heart is broken.

I guess I am writing this to sort of vent my frustration with the world around me. and due to the sense that I am no longer able to practice my spiritual path to fit my needs because of my fiance's lack of understanding towards it; and his metaphorical chain around my neck.

I don't like the idea of leaving him, I would like advice though on how I can convince a male to atleast try it out and understand that I need time to myself for my spiritual needs.  and to allow me that time and understand that this is important to me.

[Lilnicki]

I'm guessing you live in a city, or you would be more able to appreciate nature and the countryside...... i think you need to find some middle ground....... how about just talking about nature with him  ie the role plants play in giving us oxygen, how food grows in the fields...... the miracles of mother nature....... sometimes when people live in cities they completey forget that milk doesn't come from the store!!

Once he has been reminded about such things he may be more able to see how you "respect" things like the sun and the moon, as they are absoloutly essential to us living on the planet !!

They do say that comrimise is the key to good relationships, so hopefully you can meet somewhere in the middle

Hope this has helped

Nicki

[SidheDraoi]

They do say that comrimise is the key to good relationships, so hopefully you can meet somewhere in the middle

Nicki

I agree completely. last night after i picked him up from work I talked to him a little about herbal healing stuff that i had been studying  that day and he just kinda did that "nod and grunt" thing... so I just stopped talking. I don't like when people don't listen to me when I talk.

i think girls are more apt to be spiritual than men are and its very discouraging for me when I am met with someone that has nothing to say about it (like my fiance) other than "it has no place".

i am going to talk to him more about it, maybe if i just keep talking he will finaly start listining haha 

[Tony Bondioli]

i think girls are more apt to be spiritual than men are

I take exception to these sorts of generalizations.  I don't think a sense of spirituality is more prevalent in one gender or the other.  Could be your fiance just isn't a very spiritual guy (or maybe his spirituality manifests as a sort of simplicity that just doesn't jive with your methods or philosophy).

Anyway, sorry to hear you're having relationship troubles.  It's no fun, but seems to be something we all have to go through at some point.  In my opinion, if two people aren't growing together, they probably need to grow apart.

[Rob-The-Spartan]

Rather than trying to convince him of your ways, i'd suggest simply just showing him. And i don't mean like, hey honey i wana show you something. i mean just put it right in front of his face and let him deal with it in his own way. Also, you shouldn't let this get personal. He's not doing it to try and offend you. It's just something he obviously feels strongly about. Not everybody is spiritual.

In short, slowly immerse him in it without talking about it. Based on how he feels, he will either accept it or push it away. If spirituality is such a strong part of your belief, he will essentially be either accepting you or pushing you away.

The best solution in my eyes would be to sit him down and tell him how much it means to you. He might then try and make an effort. As a man, i can tell you that i really appreciate when someone does this. It's honest, and it puts him in a situation where he has to react. It's a bold move that will truly show him how u feel. Simply talking about it isn't enough. Open your heart to him. Afterall, communication is the most important factor in any reationship.

[SidheDraoi]

him and i sat down about this actually and he told me that he was lieing to himself about not wanting to learn about my beliefs. he said that he had the christian faith shoved down his throat all his life and it made him not like religion of any type. though now he has opened up and said that he really wants to learn my beliefs because they arent religious in anyway, they are spiritual and he sees that now.

needless to say we are doing very well now, and he is enjoying himself more (he says he feels more alive now)   

[Rob-The-Spartan]

I'm very happy to hear that